Reprinted with permission - See the full article in Connections Magazine for Professional Women at www.pbwcconnections.com
We hear a lot about coaching, but readers often ask what it is and how it can enrich their careers and lives. In preparing for this issue, we learned that some corporations even incorporate coaching into employee benefits packages. So we invited local expert Ruth Simone to tell us about this growing practice area and explain some of the signs it may be time to consider working with a coach.
Sign #1: Disorientation and Feeling Scattered — My Life Isn’t Working
What in your life are you trying to make work or get completed? Perhaps it’s that image of getting promoted to a highly sought after leadership position? Taking your small business to the next level? Maybe you’re looking for that special someone, or yearning for a supportive family and the next tier lifestyle? If you’ve had thoughts of giving up — wait! There is hope.
Paradoxically — hope greets us at the precise moment when we become truly curious about what is going on within ourselves and in the world around us. It can be a joyful time of “waking up” to the real life that we’re living and leave the one behind that we’ve been stuck in or are skipping over to engage with in our automatic patterns. Contrary to what we often hear — hope also happens when we face our most fearful moments, the ones as we catch a glimpse of in the foggy mirror. This amazing moment unveils for us the needed awareness to see life’s opportunities that have been there all along.
Sign #2: Out of Time — I Can Never Do What I Want and Really Love
Do you find yourself working more and more hours while juggling endless tasks, or rushing to meet deadlines and say “there just is never enough time”? Is it possible that your exceptional multi-tasking is doing you in? When is it ok to say, “No”?
As women, our tendency to be agreeable, nice, compliant, or to please others often
takes a toll on us and our family. We end up being overscheduled, overworked, underappreciated, underpaid, frazzled, exhausted and frustrated. When that happens, life is no fun.
Believe it or not — each of these signal its time to move in the opposite direction. When we turn ourselves around and pick up the magnifying lens, it allows us to see ourselves from new angles and dimensions — we can begin to integrate play into our work. We can become even more productive, in less time, and enjoy working with ease and balance.
Sign #3: Self Defeating Patterns — Life Is Awkward, Limited and Even Lonely
Do you experience that feeling of dread when you think about interacting with particular people, using technology, dealing with financial challenges or listening to your intuition that feels more like another betrayal?
Does it seem like an impossible dream for every moment to hold the potential to nurture and support us? When we step out of these patterns — we begin to fully participate in real life.
Sign #4: Communication — Conversations That Cause Stress
If you’re dreaming or creatively designing strategies to exit difficult environments
— this might be a smart move. But more often — the better solution is to see the value of developing a strong support group. Why? The same people who can encourage us to muster our courage to face adversity can also strengthen our confidence to face real life challenges — and gain peace of mind.
Sign #5: Lack of Commitment — “It’s Easier to Quit Than Stand Up For Myself”
Have you noticed that when we hide rather than stand up to face our difficulties we run into the danger of taking the path of least resistance — when other more harmful consequences occur?
Yes, some people and situations can challenge the essence of our self image, and we become convinced that the best solution is to skirt the situation. Unless the situation is truly dangerous — these moments present opportunities to learn the most. By adopting a passion for learning from everything and everyone in life — our patience leads us to knowledge, wisdom and mastery.
Sign #6: Seeking the Life Fix — “Others Don’t Care Enough”
Are you expecting others to care more, and somehow they don’t? When we cannot get the love we need from others — it’s usually a sign that we don’t love ourselves enough. How could that be?
When we learn to stand up for what’s important in our lives — we replace our hints, blame, and masked demands. Particularly as women — we’ve been taught to love others more than ourselves. But, today’s powerful women respect both themselves and others when they make powerful and empowering requests to get the results they need.
Sign #7: Disillusionment — “I’m Giving Up on Ever Living Out My Dreams”
Do you find yourself longing to move into a life, career or a business that inspires and motivates you? Is it a life of giving back in ways that are fulfilling, with joyful people and abundant resources?
Too often we believe that having it all takes time to accomplish by first getting the
obstacles out of the way. But, it’s when our dreams are turned into crystal clear beliefs and action plans that we focus our best energy on what we really want in life. Yes, dreams can happen sooner than you can imagine.
This reminds me of my favorite quote from Antoine De Saint-Exupery: “Reminding one another of the dream that each of us aspires to may be enough for us to set each other free.”
A coach can be a great resource to explore these signs - to determine how to overcome these obstacles. Has there ever been a better time to get started? To learn more - call Ruth at Luminare Coaching and Consulting, 650 579-6624.
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